Elle Potter

Green with Envy – elle drinks green juice.

My friend Dennis called me one cold night in February. “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Italy with me. I have to go for work and I thought it would be fun if you came so I’d have someone to eat dinner with while I’m there.”

“Sure, why not?” I replied, getting that excited feeling I get when I sense impending adventure. “When are you leaving?”

“Tuesday.”

For two weeks, I ate breakfast twice every morning, gelato for lunch, and a huge amazing meal every night at a number of incredible restaurants throughout Bologna. It spawned my mindset of, “If I want it, I’ma eat it.” I came home ten pounds heavier (after TWELVE days of feasting!) and continued on with that frame of mind.

Of course, eventually I could tell it was catching up with me. After spending most of my time on Maui in December eating largely raw foods and drinking lots of fresh juices, I knew what it was like to feel like a million bucks. I was full of energy, I was glowing; why, even my green eyes were turning blue! There was such an incredible level of cleansing going on, and I enjoyed the sensation of it.

But now, I was eating without thinking, enjoying the novelty of eating meat again for the first time in three years, falling back into the habit of eating a cheese sandwich… which isn’t bad in moderation, but all of these habits that were making me feel exhausted, depressed, grouchy, and achy, all over.

After spending a weekend at the Fitness and Health Bloggers Conference in June and having chats with my Gluten Free for Good friend Melissa, I knew I needed to get a grip on my eating habits. But later, I kept thinking. I’ll do it later, and I’ll blog about it and my new #FHBC11 friends will read it and it will be great. But later. I’m not in the mood now.

Last weekend I spent up at the Mountain Pose Yoga Festival in Copper Mountain with my infamous friends, Peggy Dyer, Laurie Maves and Melissa Ivey. I was dealing with a lot emotionally, and I found myself both feeling shitty because of internal struggles on top of feeling shitty because I was eating shitty… I slept for ten or eleven hours each night, exhausted from numerous tearful breakdowns and too much pizza.

On the second night at MPYF, author of Crazy Sexy Cancer and Crazy Sexy Diet, Kris Carr, was the keynote speaker. Peggy and Laurie are huge fans of Kris’, and I was looking forward to hearing her speak about her love of green juice and kale. After all, I had loved the green stuff too, back on Maui.

I ended up at one of the front tables, sitting on the side that left me completely exposed to the podium. I felt vulnerable even in the midst of my intrigue, as though Kris and I were having a one-on-one chat. The more I imagined it was just her and I in the room, the more defensive I got when I felt like she was looking at me with her challenges to live life on purpose.

“Will you all make a commitment to juicing, starting on Monday?” she asked, questioning with her eyes dancing around the room. Then she looked directly at me. Or maybe it was my friend behind me. Either way, she looked directly-almost-kind-of-near-me and said, “Would you?”

I stared back, biting the inside of my cheek, hoping it was a rhetorical question.

It wasn’t. “Yes? No? Can you give me one of these?” She wiggled her hand side-to-side.

My friend behind me spoke up. “If I have access to a juice, sure! I’d love to try!” I relaxed. Maybe Kris wasn’t looking at me afterall. But my friend made the point that I was fuming over.

I’d love to live a super healthy lifestyle, eat nothing but the best all the time, fresh juice twice a day, fart rainbows and burp glitter and all that. But the cost! The cost is so much!! Buy me a fuggen juicer, I thought, and I’ll drink your g’damned juice.

I sat with those feelings for the next twenty-four hours, feeling embarrassed that I had experienced this unexplainable upwelling of rage. Until I realized that was the rage was masking was my fear and shame about my lack of nourishing my body wholly. I am fearful that I’m doomed to live a life of exhaustion and unhappiness and I’m embarrassed because I don’t have the will-power to uphold any semblance of consistency in my life, not to mention in my diet.

I pondered on that. And was I seriously coming at the thought of my health and well-being and self-care with an attitude of lack? Lack of funds, lack of faith, lack of love for myself and patience that I could get it right if I just gave myself the space to try… so much lack. What was I therefore fueling my body with by having those thoughts? Nothing but more lack. More fear. More shame. More turning away from taking control of my own health.

Well, that didn’t make much sense to me.

On Monday, I made myself a big batch of some sort of ridiculous green smoothie concoction. All I had for a blender was one of those little single-serve smoothie makers, so I made a complete mess, adding whatever veggies and fruits I thought sounded good. It was fantastic. When the whole thing was done, I sat down to take a triumphant sip – and it tasted like ass.

Yummm. Ass.

I kept at it, trying to find the right way to be able to suck down this disaster, but I wasn’t mad. At least I was making an effort, and I had been avoiding making the initial effort for way too long.

Then I went to Bed, Bath and my Butthole (I hate that store) and found a reasonably priced juicer. Sure, I broke it within 24 hours of having it, but I exchanged it for another… and we’re totally in love, me and my juicer. And then it broke again and I broke up with it. Going in to buy a legit hi-speed blender this time. I went to some vitamin-hut-cottage-place and bought greens powder to add to my breakfast smoothies. I’m learning, I’m making an effort and I already feel better.

I realized that while eating better is more expensive, it is a price worth paying. What’s the point of spending a ton of money on clothes or shoes (which I don’t generally do anyway) when I still feel sick, depressed, tired, achy, etc., when I put them on? I’d rather wear my worn out tank tops and endless supply of skorts until they fall off me as long as I’m eating amazingly and feeling even more amazing.

This is the decision we are all given, every day of our lives. And it doesn’t have to be my story, maybe it’s just making a commitment to get off your ass once a day and go for a 20-minute walk. Maybe it’s adding something green to your dinner every night. Maybe it’s drinking more water. There are so many little things that make such a big difference – because just as one bad decision can lead to a string of even worse decisions, one good decision begets more and more of consistently better and more fantastic decisions.

Now, don’t misunderstand – I don’t regret one chocolate croissant, one triple serving of pistachio, hazelnut and chocolate coconut gelato or one single plate of Gnocchi Quattro Formaggio that I had in Italy. I wanted to live my life fully while in Italy – and I did. And I was happy for it! But I can’t eat like that all the time. And I apparently especially can’t eat like that when I’m at home if I want to feel healthy and/or happy in the slightest.

What can you commit to trying next week? Just for you, for your health, for your well-being and for your happiness? I dare you to try.

Make yourself a super delicious juice!

If you’re using a juicer, just throw all these items in.  If you’re using a high-speed blender, remove seeds, stems and other non-edible bits.

2 green apples

1 lemon

1-inch knob of ginger

1-bunch cilantro

couple handfuls of spinach

1-bunch of kale

a few stalks of celery

1 cucumber

a few carrots

Enjoy!  Store in a glass container and drink throughout the day – or better yet, share with your friends!

The best thing about juicing is you really can’t screw it up – experiment with different things and see what happens.